You know the old saying, "If I had a dime for every time I heard that, I would be a millionaire today." Well, it may not be that bad but in the last 6 years it has been expressed to me on numerous occasions.
Three years ago I attended a wedding outside of Boston. There were several couples that had an idea of what I did for a living. One by one and always after a few drinks I was approached by the wives asking additional questions. It was four in total. In every case this broken record statement came proudly and definitively out of their mouths, usually with the arms folded in front of them in a defensive position. In every case, I had them admit to their "curiosities." Two had already experienced a woman, one asked how she could discreetly find another woman to experiment with and the last thinks about it all the time. I then told each they are, in fact, straight and the "Bisexual" word is just that, a word.
Unfortunately, what other word can simply describe the fact that you may be attracted to both sexes at the same time in one form or another. Daily, we are bombarded with images of beautiful women with perfect faces and figures. We are placed on the sexual pedestal by society and worshipped by both men and women alike. Why are over half of all Playboy magazine subscriptions owned by women. Recently, an informal survey of 500 women were asked if they had a choice of any celebrity, who would they most likely want to make it with. Angelina Jolie was listed 3rd only 3 points behind the top spot. How can we not conjure up bisexual fantasies whether or not we consider ourselves straight or Bi. It is close to impossible.
The fact is we are all victims of labels. People will make immediate judgments about your character according to the label placed upon you. That is why the word "Bisexual" is distained by so many of us as it comes with a stigma. When I tell women I am bisexual some will immediately believe I am a lesbian who has not come out of the closet yet. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. I have a dear friend who states emphatically that she is straight yet she has sexual relations with at least 5 - 10 women every year. That one word alone has caused the vast majority of our female gender to remain in the shadows. They will never dare attempt to make love, make out or even caress tenderly the beautiful form of our sisters for fear the forbidden "B" word be forever branded to their breasts. When walking in public people will now stare at them, the guilt of the Scarlet Letter is now written all over their faces.
We as powerful women must stop preventing ourselves from enjoying all forms of personal gratification just because we are afraid of what society may think. We are not file folders. We are not Stepford Wives. We are not a word. We are individuals who have deep feelings, desires and fantasies. Why not explore all the pleasures life has to offer as long as it does not hurt anybody. I for one will not limit myself. The world is my oyster and it should be yours as well.
Love and Understanding
Beth
Beth has been a "guru" for Bicurious women for over eight years.
She and her husband own and operate, Wild Women Vacations, of Las Vegas, which provides events and vacations catering to the Bi and Bicurious community, in safe and secure environments. Beth grew up in New Orleans, where as a teenager, discovered she was equally attracted to men and women and developed an understanding of her sexuality. She has explored the Bi lifestyle and helped many others come to "find themselves" and feel comfortable with being intimate with both genders.
When dealing with human sexuality the number of issues and relationships are almost endless. The mission of her advice column is to answer many questions women have dealing with their bisexuality.
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